Well Done Fillet

Well Done Fillet

Waiter Stuff

Where is my lobster eh?

You should get a medal for surviving days like St Patrick's. If not a medal then at least you be given your own body weight in booze to take home. In fact your own body weight in booze is a much better idea, it's not really fun being the only sober person in the whole city. That said, I don't even have the energy to lift so much as a sherry right now.I need to wash the green from my mind.....
fuck it
I just need to wash

There should be someone to carry my bag and help me into an air conditioned limo. A spa full of experts should be on hand to undress me, shower me, and dress me again in fluffy pj's. I should also get foot rubs, back rubs, and any other sort of rub-a-dub-dubs legally available. I should be drinking myself in to a gentle sleepy coma like state with the exclusive help of fine French wine. I should be eating steak stuffed with fois gras wrapped in lobster dusted with white truffles. A team of accountants should be calculating my tips and investing them wisely in Emu farms and off shore trusts.

But....

...but instead I am sat here stinking up the house stripped to the waist with more odors emanating from my own body than from your average landfill site. There is no gaggle of highly qualified body rubbers to smooth out my many kinks and owies. There was no air conditioned carriage, unless you count a three year old Ford Mondeo as luxury, I do not. No steak stuffed with fois gras wrapped in lobster sprinkled liberally with white truffle. No, instead there is second rate Chinese food and instead of luxurious French wine to imbibe myself with I have a can of Fanta.

But....

....the money was good. The customers were surprisingly sober, until the sun went down that is. The kitchen monkeys were more manlike and less apelike than normal. All in all it was a very sweet day. But now I get to don my surgical gloves and strip the green socks from my feet and stash them for another year. Tomorrow I'll bring you the story of the only table that made me want stab something. And by something I mean them. I don't respond well to "Yo". Yo? Yo fucking ho asshole.....

Until then I'm going to sleep.