Well Done Fillet

Well Done Fillet

Waiter Stuff

Tequila Mockingbird and other nonsense...


You have to wonder what goes on in the minds of restaurateurs when it comes to naming their establishments. These people have flair and creativity in abundance but when it comes to naming their restaurants their minds seem to draw a blank. Most stick to the safe route of naming it after themselves, maybe it's ego over safety. Deanes Deli, Deanes at Queens, Deanes Brasserie for example. If they don't name it after themselves then it's location that gets the nod, Hill Street Brasserie and James St South being prime examples.

The Chinese are probably the worst at naming restaurants. No originality at all. How many Hong Kong Night's, Four Season's, Golden Mandarin's, Bamboo Palaces or derivatives must there be in the world? Let's be honest the Irish aren't much better, Molly this, O'Somethingorothers that, The Four Leaf Clover and so on. Mercifully, most of those sort of places aren't actually located in Ireland. But I bet Boston's coming down with them!

And when they do let their creative side out of it's box they get met with a chorus of abuse, confusion, and laughter. I remember when Aubergines and Blue Jeans opened in Belfast back in the 90's. "What the fuck is it?" screamed the taxi drivers in a cynical lets abuse it because we don't understand it sort of way. "What's an ohberginies?" they would ask, attempting to pronounce every letter. It's probably why it didn't last for long, well that and the owner getting caught "being creative" with one of the waiters one to many times and getting divorced and sued for all he had. Allegedly. Bananas was another one of his too.

Some names do work though. "For Cod & Ulster" is a fish and chip shop in East Belfast. It's a great name, a play on the old Protestant slogan of "For God & Ulster". They have a menu full of that sort of thing, there is the Gerry Adams burger, bacon, cheese, salad & any sauce. There is a Paisley burger too, it's the same as the Adams burger but with an onion ring. My favourite has to be the George Best Burger though, bird on top beef down below (1/4 beef burger, chicken breast, salad and sauce). Makes me chuckle. Rumour has it that the guy that owns "For Cod & Ulster" wants to open another in the West of the city using a Republican slogan. So that will be interesting then. Wish he would open one near me, just to get rid of the bloody awfully named "Guccii" chippy,. I assume the extra "i" is to avoid copyright infringement. Saying that it used to be called BJ's. That placed really sucked.

The Americans do it best though. Where else would you get, Mustards Last Stand, Once Upon a Thai, & Tequila Mockingbird. Has to be better than Bob's Bar and Grill....