Well Done Fillet

Well Done Fillet

Waiter Stuff

Manuel and the horrible situation


table for 3...some?
I get whacky phone calls at work all the time. People ask the dumbest questions:

"Can you read me out your menu?"

"Our kids only eat KFC can we bring some in for them?"

"Do you have to book for Saturday night?"

"What soup will you be serving in 3 weeks time?"

"Can I book a car and 2 passengers for the first sailing next Saturday?" My friend used to take these bookings every so often. Just for the craic you understand.

And so on. But none tops the call I answered one Sunday morning last summer...

Hello Manuel speaking how can I help you?

Yeah.........Hello...

Hello? Can I help you? Hello?

Yeah...em...Here's what it is mate. Do yous uns have CCTV cameras in there?

CCTV Cameras?

Aye mate, CCTV Cameras. I'm nat gonna rob the place or owt. It's just...It's just that my wife....I think my wife was there last night with another man...I think she's having... (There was definitely the sound of upset in his voice)

Oh right, oh um okay. What can I do for you though sir?

Well here can I come down and see the tape from last night. Just til see if she is in wi another fella?

Ah right. Cant see that happening sir to be honest. But I tell you what I'll put you through to the manager and maybe he will let you.

Aye aye sweet mate cheers....

No problem sir.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Poor sod. The manager said no. Well not directly. He gave him the in's and out's of data protection law and the addresses of people he could contact regarding data protection. I'm sure poor little Johnny two-timed was comforted by all that.

Still stiff upper lip and all that old chap....

Of course I spread the news of my phone call like the clap in a whore house, or if you prefer like, measles in a kindergarten. We speculated as to who it might have been. Ah the fun that we have at customers and their spouses expense.