Well Done Fillet

Well Done Fillet

Waiter Stuff

I'm so proud...and drunk..and skint...but proud

Pint of Harp mate
school was a bitch today...

What would you spend ₤47,000 on? A flash car? Put it towards a holiday home in Donegal? Invest it for the kiddies future? Well if you are from Belfast you will probably piss it down the toilet or throw it up outside the pub! Nice.

A report published by the alcohol awareness and rehabilitation website Perry Clayman Project has revealed that people in Belfast spend ₤47,000 on booze over the period of their lives. This is more than anywhere else in the UK. Cambridge came a piss(ed) poor second with a paltry spend of £40,939. Wimps.

The top ten pished cities

1. Belfast
2. Cambridge
3. Leeds
4. Leicester
5. Manchester
6. London
7. Sheffield
8. Bristol
9. Aberdeen
10. Cardiff

Makes you proud eh? We may not have won our bid for European City of Culture but we won the fight after. Now when you think about how many God botherers there are in Belfast who prefer a big pint of Jesus to a pint of harp(ic) it really means that the rest of us are spending even more than the ₤47,000. The next bar to my restaurant had a "healthy" queue outside it at half ten this morning which is testament to the reports findings.

But don't rush to condemn us too quickly. What else was there to do over the last three decades? We only got some decent shops in which to spent our beer tokens, sorry I mean money, in a few years ago. A wander round Belfast "City" centre a few years back would have lasted but 15 minutes, unless you were captivated by the C&A range of smart casuals. And what past times we indulged in as a people were no good unless you were off your mind on a bottle of Buckfast or a four pack of Special Brew. Have you ever rioted sober? I think not!

All joking aside, when you consider that earnings in the North of Ireland are amongst the lowest in the UK this report isn't good reading. My boss was chirpier today though as he greeted the booze hounds who keep him in BMW style.

Does that mean I work in a very successful industry? Should I be getting paid more? Am I sober now?