Well Done Fillet

Well Done Fillet

Waiter Stuff

That "Friday" Feeling

show some decorum you tosser
its only a Friday

Never had it. Never really knew the joy of finishing work at 4 on a Friday safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't be back to work until Monday. Your Friday is my Monday, if you know what I mean.

But this weekend is different. I'm off Saturday and Sunday and I have every intention of ripping the arse clean out of it. This will be my first Saturday off this year. I will tell you this is due to my dedication to the job and all that jazz, others will say that I am a tip whore who can't bear to be off on a Saturday. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. You can keep your cash this weekend, I'm spending mine.

The plans are as follows...

...Saturday morning will start early-ish and after the customary ablutions I shall off myself to the corner shop and purchase my Saturday Guardian, and all the required products for a fry up. A little time shall be set aside in the morning to lavish love and hugs on Little Miss Manuel. But as soon as Football Focus starts the love shutters will be slammed shut and I shall immerse myself in the "magic" of the FA Cup.

Many cigarettes shall be smoked and a bottle or two of cider shall be quaffed whilst watching the match, a match that shall see the Red Shirted chaps of Manchester United reign supreme.

Following a victory lap of the backyard and much texting and phoning of non-United supporting friends I shall begin the ritual for going out, showering, yes 2 showers in one day, shaving, plucking nasal hair, changing 2/3 times, and swearing as LMM hasn't arrived. Then its off to one of Belfast's finer restaurants for a beautiful evening of fine food, wine, and G&T's. The gamekeeper turns poacher if you will.

We then will retire to a local hostelry for a few more beverages and civilised chit chat inevitably ending up at about three o'clock in the morning face down in the bathroom in a pool of my own piss and vomit.

if I don't end up like this chap
I shall be very disappointed indeed

Sunday will be a quiet day of reflection, and most probably self loathing. But Little Miss Manuel's blog will go live at some point on Sunday so we have to get up at a reasonable time. I know its what you want so like a good waiter I shall serve it for you with a basket of bread and a smile.

She will be offering an Agony Aunt type of service and will volunteer her expert knowledge on you and your lives whether you want it or not. It's all so exciting, who will be first to get a gold star on the star chart? Who will be on the naughty step first? Anybody who needs advice just send her an email. I promise not to get involved, much.

Just one more twelve hour shift to go.

it's been 3 months since I've had one of these
3 long, dry months

Tally ho...